Polished Final Draft

November 24 2012

Expecting Parents, Santa Cruz California

Dear Expecting Parents:

As an expecting parent, how to raise your child is an extremely important topic. Everyone has different beliefs, and has been raised in different ways. With our changing society, and the direction it is heading with gender roles, I believe it’s very important to give your children all the opportunities that they deserve regardless of their sex. Whereas some are convinced that traditional gender roles are beneficial, I believe that children who grow up within an equalitarian family, as compared to a family who adheres to traditional gender roles may benefit in their development. This is important because it can lead to higher self-esteem, greater academic achievements, and future happiness within love and dating relationships for your children.

When it comes to the topic of gender roles within parenting most of us will readily agree that traditional roles are healthy. Where this agreement usually ends, however, is on the question of equalitarian or androgynous gender roles orientation. Whereas some are convinced that traditional gender roles are beneficial, I believe that children who grow up within an equalitarian family, as compared to a family who adheres to traditional gender roles may benefit in their development. This is important because it can lead to higher self-esteem, greater academic achievements, and future happiness within love and dating relationships for your children.

Our society is full of gender biases and stereotypes that are developed in childhood, and are learned from our parents. According to Human Anatomy by Kenneth S. Saladin, our brain grows 75% from birth, and throughout our childhood we are learning and connecting from what we see and hear (Saladin 92). This is why at a very young age it is important to make the correct connections with gender which will be vital for our growth into society. For example, as a young girl seeing your mother build a desk, or fix a car leads you to believe that those are not only jobs for men; just as watching your dad cook dinner or pack your lunch for school helps you understand that its not only women who should be in the kitchen. As gender roles change in society and women become CEOs of fortunate 500 companies and leaders in government positions; it is important to give your daughter the opportunities at a young age to realize she will have all the same potentials as a man would. Like wise for young boys it releases the pressures of “being a man” not all boys want to be a firefighter or the president of the United States. Boys need to know that it is ok to show emotion and be care takers, which will lead them to having better relationships and sense of self.

Traditional gender roles would be described as; the man goes to work and provides financial support for his family, while the women cares for the children and does the house work. Kids whom grow up within a traditional family would spend much less time with their dad then mom. In an equalitarian family both the mom and dad would have equal responsibilities with childcare, work, and house chores. In equalitarian families the relationship between father and child is much stronger. It also gives them a variety in caretaking, and through it adds diversion to their lifestyle and relationships. A family who raises their child in an androgynous gender role orientation would likely lead to a more equalitarian type situation. Androgynous gender orientation means that they would allow their child to grow up with the personality, emotions, and behaviors of either male or female. For instance, if the child was a girl and they wanted to have short hair and play with GI Joes then that would be accepted.

According to Purdue University’s Tips for Healthy Gender Development, “Giving boys and girls the chance to watch women and men do different jobs will help promote healthy gender role development.” In equalitarian families kids will see their mother and father go to work, clean the house, and help them with school work. This gives them the opportunity to see that either gender is capable of all jobs. Growing up knowing that you can succeed in what you enjoy doing, not just what your specific gender is suppose to do leads to less depression and higher self-esteem.

Girls, in particularly, who have a father who are involved with activities and school work are said to become more interested in math and science, leading to better grades and achievements within those areas of study. In the article, “Gender Roles in Marriage: What do they mean for girls’ and boys’ school achievements” by Kimberly A. Updegraff, she discusses how growing up within traditional feminine roles drastically affect young girls performances in math and science, were as girls who have a more masculine traits may achieve higher scores and be more interested in the subjects. Updegraff suggests, “this more masculine roll in young girls comes from the idea that their father was around in day to day activities to instill those masculine qualities”, and that they were encouraged to achieve results in more masculine studies, such as math and science, and not only typical female gender studies (Updegraff 76).

As a young girl I grew up around a mother who provided income by working full time, was involved in activities and school work, and could change the oil on her own car if needed. As I aged through adolescents it left me open to the fact that I didn’t need to find a boyfriend because I wouldn’t need them to provide and support me someday. I was able to choose someone that I wanted in my life for happiness. It has lead me to be self sufficient and provided me with the confidence to realize I could do and be whatever I set my mind to. Unfortunately many of my friends who grew up within a traditional family were desperate for boyfriends because they were reinforced with the idea that you need a husband to take care of you, or else you have failed. This leads to depression and low self-esteem in young women, and can easily be fixed by having a strong self efficient role model as a mother and a father who has a bigger role at home.

In the article, “Gender Role Socialization and Adolescents’ Reports of Depression: Why some girls and not others?” by Dawn A Obeidallah, they analyzed the depression symptoms of girls, and analyzed the gender role of their parents. They wanted to explore the idea that the push for young girls to act in less masculine ways and take on a more traditional feminine gender role may be linked to negative mental health experiences. “Parents’ marital roles may be an important factor in adolescents’ gender identity socialization because mothers and fathers interaction and their division of family activities provide adolescent girls a script for acceptable gendered behavior” (Obeidallah 777) The conclusion of the study showed that girls who have more masculine qualities have less depressive behaviors. Obeidallah points out, “ideas of why this happens is because mothers who have a more powerful roll in a relationship show the daughter how important self efficiency is, which lack of, is associated with depression symptoms.” This directly relates to my situation and why having a strong female role model is so important for mental health while growing up.

I discussed a lot about how equalitarian gender rolls affect girls; however, they are very important in young boys development as well. In Michael Kimmel’s, “Bro’s Before Hoes” he explains how boys are pressured from their dad to be tough; for instance, they can’t cry or show emotion. This causes them to, “turn to anger and violence because these, they believe, perhaps rightly, are the only acceptable forms of emotional expression” (Kimmel 616). This is obviously not a healthy way for your young boy to grow up. If you have a strong mother role and a father who accepts that boys can break the gender role barriers you may help prevent these kinds of feelings within your children. Equalitarian parents and androgynous gender role orientation will foster the attitude that emotion is acceptable and necessary in some situations. This may also lead to stronger and healthier relationships for your child in the future.

Many equalitarian couples believe that providing an androgynous gender orientation is the best way to raise a child. According to Janice L. DeLucia the author of “Gender role identity and dating behavior”, androgynous individuals have been found to have higher self esteem and higher levels of identity achievements (DeLucia 160). Children learn to adopt gender roles that are not always fair to both sexes, they learn at a very young age what is meant to be a boy or girl in society. A child’s sense of self is formed by the attitudes and behaviors they are exposed to; therefore, parents shouldn’t expect all boys or all girls to like the same things. It’s very important that you let your children explore who they are and what they like without telling them what they are suppose to enjoy based on their sex. Some ideas are; letting them play with whatever type of toys they are drawn to, making sure they have friends of both sexes, make positive statements about both genders, and help them understand the messages they see from the media. Parents who have an equalitarian attitude regarding gender roles are more likely to foster that attitude in their children, which in turn will provide them with every opportunity regardless of sex and avoid limiting their potential

Sincerely,

Amber Poulliot, Cabrillo College

Annotated Bibliography

Updegraff, Kimberly A., Susan M. Mchale, and Ann C. Crouter. “Gender Roles in Marriage: What do they mean for girls’ and boys’ school achievements.” Journal of Youth and Adolescence 25.1 (1996): 73-88. SpringerLink. Web. 9 Nov. 2012.

This article was published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence in 1996, and was written about a study to compare school achievements of children in traditional and equalitarian families. Traditional families meant that most of the socialization and activities are only with the mother, in an equalitarian family the mother and father participated equally in activities with the children. The study showed that in early adolescents that the families’ socialization process directly effects their child’s academic achievements, and that there are differences for boys and girls. If girls only focus on traditional feminine roles it can drastically affect their performances in math and science, were as girls who have a more masculine social roll may achieve higher scores and be more interested in math and science. This more masculine roll in young girls comes from the idea that their father was around in day to day activities to instill those masculine qualities.

Obeidallah, Dawn A., Susan M. Michale, and Rainer K. Silbereisen. “Gender Role Socialization and Adolescents’ Reports of Depression: Why some girls and not others?” Journal of Youth and Adolescence 25.6 (1996): 775-85. SpingerLink. Web. 5 Nov. 2012.

This article was published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence in 1996, and was written about a study to compare the depression levels of girls growing up in traditional and equalitarian families. The article was written in a scientific matter and explains the outcome of tests they conducted on 87 7^th and 8^th grade girls. They analyzed the depression symptoms of girls, and analyzed the gender role of their parents. They wanted to explore the idea that the push for young girls to act in less masculine ways and take on a more traditional feminine gender role may be linked to negative mental health experiences. “Parents’ marital roles may be an important factor in adolescents’ gender identity socialization because mothers and fathers interaction and their division of family activities provide adolescent girls a script for acceptable gendered behavior” (777) The conclusion of that studies showed that girls who have more masculine qualities have less depressive behaviors. Some ideas of why this happens is because mothers who have a more powerful roll in a relationship show the daughter how important self efficiency is, which lack of, is associated with depression symptoms.

Additional Works Citied

DeLucia, Janice L. “Gender role identity and dating behavior: What is the relationship?” Sex Roles 17.3-4 (1987): 153-61. Springer Link. Web. Nov. 29^th. 2012.

Saladin, Kenneth S. Human Anatomy. 3^rd ed. Atlanta: Georgia College and State University, 2011. Book

Final Paper #2

November 24 2012

Expecting Parents, Santa Cruz California

Dear Expecting Parents:

When it comes to the topic of gender roles within parenting most of us will readily agree that traditional roles are healthy. Where this agreement usually ends, however, is on the question of equalitarian or androgynous gender roles orientation. Whereas some are convinced that traditional gender roles are beneficial, I believe that children who grow up within an equalitarian family, as compared to a family who adheres to traditional gender roles may benefit in their development. This is important because it can lead to higher self-esteem, greater academic achievements, and future happiness within love and dating relationships for your children.

Our society is full of gender biases and stereotypes that are developed in childhood, and are learned from our parents. According to Human Anatomy by Kenneth S. Saladin, our brain grows 75% from birth, and throughout our childhood we are learning and connecting from what we see and hear around us. This is why at a very young age it is important to make the correct connections with gender which will be vital for our growth into society. As a young girl seeing your mother build a desk, or fix a car for example leads you to believe that those are not only jobs for men; just as watching your dad cook dinner or pack your lunch for school helps you understand that its not only women who should be in the kitchen. As gender roles change in society and women become CEOs of fortunate 500 companies and leaders in government positions; it is important to give your daughter the opportunities at a young age to realize she will have all the same potentials as a man would. Like wise for young boys it releases the pressures of “being a man” not all boys want to be a firefighter or the president of the United States. Boys need to know that it is ok to show emotion and be care takers, which will lead them to having better relationships and sense of self.

Traditional gender roles would be described as, for example, the man goes to work and provides financial support for his family; while the women cares for the children and does the house work. Kids whom grow up within a traditional gender role family would spend much less time with their dad then mom. In an equalitarian family both the mom and dad would have equal responsibilities with childcare, work, and house chores. In equalitarian families the relationship between father and child is much stronger. It also gives them a variety in caretaking and through it adds diversion to their lifestyle and relationships. A family who raises their child in an androgynous gender role orientation would likely lead to a more equalitarian type situation. Androgynous meaning that they would allow their child to grow up with the nature, emotions, and behaviors of either male or female. If the child was a girl and they wanted to have short hair and play with GI Joes then that would be accepted.

According to Purdue University’s Tips for Healthy Gender Development: “Giving boys and girls the chance to watch women and men do different jobs,” will help promote healthy gender role development. In equalitarian families kids will see their mother and father go to work, clean the house, and help them with school work. This gives them the opportunity to see that either gender is capable of all jobs. Growing up knowing that you can succeed in what you enjoy doing, not just what your specific gender is suppose to do leads to less depression and higher self-esteem.

Girls, in particularly, who have a father who are involved with activities and school work are said to become more interested in math and science, leading to better grades and achievements within those areas of study. In the article, “Gender Roles in Marriage: What do they mean for girls’ and boys’ school achievements” by Kimberly A. Updegraff, discusses how growing up within traditional feminine roles drastically affect young girls performances in math and science, were as girls who have a more masculine social roll may achieve higher scores and be more interested in the subjects. This more masculine roll in young girls comes from the idea that their father was around in day to day activities to instill those masculine qualities, and that they were encouraged to achieve results in more masculine studies, such as math and science, and not only typical female gender studies.

As a young girl I grew up around a mother who provided income by working full time, was involved in activities and school work, and could change the oil on her own car if needed. As I aged through adolescents it left me open to the fact that I didn’t need to find a boyfriend because I wouldn’t need them to provide and support me someday. I was able to choose someone that I wanted in my life for happiness. It has lead me to be self sufficient and provided me with the confidence to realize I could do and be whatever I set my mind to. Unfortunately many of my friends who grew up within a traditional family were desperate for boyfriends because they were reinforced with the idea that you need a husband to take care of you, or else you have failed. This leads to depression and low self-esteem in young women, and can easily be fixed by having a strong self efficient role model as a mother and a father who has a bigger role at home.

In the article, “Gender Role Socialization and Adolescents’ Reports of Depression: Why some girls and not others?” by Dawn A Obeidallah, they analyzed the depression symptoms of girls, and analyzed the gender role of their parents. They wanted to explore the idea that the push for young girls to act in less masculine ways and take on a more traditional feminine gender role may be linked to negative mental health experiences. “Parents’ marital roles may be an important factor in adolescents’ gender identity socialization because mothers and fathers interaction and their division of family activities provide adolescent girls a script for acceptable gendered behavior” (Obeidallah 777) The conclusion of the study showed that girls who have more masculine qualities have less depressive behaviors. Some ideas of why this happens is because mothers who have a more powerful roll in a relationship show the daughter how important self efficiency is, which lack of, is associated with depression symptoms. This directly relates to my situation and why having a strong female role model is so important for mental health while growing up.

I discussed a lot about how equalitarian gender rolls affect girls; however, they are very important in young boys development as well. In Michael Kimmel’s, “Bro’s Before Hoes” he explains how boys are pressured from their dad to be tough; for instance, they can’t cry or show emotion. This causes them to, “turn to anger and violence because these, they believe, perhaps rightly, are the only acceptable forms of emotional expression” (Kimmel 616). This is obviously not a healthy way for your young boy to grow up. If you have a strong mother role and a father who accepts that boys can break the gender role barriers you may help prevent these kinds of feelings within your children. Equalitarian parents and androgynous gender role orientation will foster the attitude that emotion is acceptable and necessary in some situations. This may also lead to stronger and healthier relationships for your child in the future.

Many equalitarian couples believe that providing an androgynous gender orientation is the best way to raise a child. Children learn to adopt gender roles that are not always fair to both sexes, they learn at a very young age what is meant to be a boy or girl in society. A child’s sense of self is formed by the attitudes and behaviors they are exposed to; therefore, parents shouldn't expect all boys or all girls to like the same things. It’s very important that you let your children explore who they are and what they like without telling them what they are suppose to enjoy based on their sex. Some ideas are; letting them play with whatever type of toys they are drawn to, making sure they have friends of both sexes, make positive statements about both gender, and help them understand the messages they see from the media. Parents who have an equalitarian attitude regarding gender roles are more likely to foster that attitude in their children. Androgynous individuals have been found to have higher self esteem and higher levels of identity achievements.

As an expecting parent, how to raise your child is an extremely important topic. Everyone has different beliefs, and has been raised in different ways. With our changing society, and the direction it is heading with gender roles, I believe it’s very important to give your kids all the opportunities they deserve regardless of their sex. In an equalitarian family you teach them from the start that they have every opportunity and avoid limiting their potential.

Sincerely,

Amber Poulliot, Cabrillo College

Rough Draft Paper #2

(working on conclusion paragraph/how to close the letter and type of action to request, tone and tense of letter, organization)

November 24 2012

Expecting Parents, Santa Cruz California

Dear Expecting Parents:

When it comes to the topic of gender roles within parenting most of us will readily agree that traditional gender roles are healthy. Where this agreement usually ends, however, is on the question of equalitarian or androgynous gender roles orientation. Whereas some are convinced that traditional gender roles are beneficial, I believe that children who grow up within an equalitarian family, as compared to a family who adheres to traditional gender roles may benefit in their development. This is important because it can lead to higher self-esteem, greater academic achievements, and future happiness within love and dating relationships for the child.

Our society is full of gender bias and stereotypes that are developed in childhood and are learned from our parents. Our brain grows 75% from birth, and throughout our childhood we are learning and connecting from what we see and hear around us. This is why at a very young age it is so important to make the correct connections with gender which will be vital for our growth into society. As a young girl seeing your mother build a desk, or fix a car for example leads you to believe that those are not only jobs for men; just as watching your dad cook dinner or pack your lunch for school helps you understand that its not only women who should be in the kitchen. As gender roles change in society and women become CEOs of fortunate 500 companies and leaders in government positions; it is important to give your daughter the opportunities at a young age to realize she will have all the same potentials as a man would. Like wise for young boys it releases the pressures of “being a man” not all boys want to be a firefighter or president of the United States. Boys need to know that it is ok to show emotion and be care takers, which will lead them to having better relationships and sense of self.

Traditional gender roles would be described as the man goes to work and provides financial support for his family; while the women cares for the children and does the house work. Kids who grow up within a traditional gender role family would spend much less time with their dad then mom. In an equalitarian or androgynous gender role orientation both the mom and day would have equal responsibilities with childcare, work, and house chores. In equalitarian families the relationship between father and child is much stronger. It also gives them a variety in caretaking and through it adds diversion to their lifestyle and relationships.

According to Purdue University’s Tips for Healthy Gender Development: “Giving boys and girls the chance to watch women and men do different jobs,” will help promote healthy gender role development. In equalitarian families kids will see their mother and father go to work, clean the house, and help them with school work. This gives them the opportunity to see that either gender is capable of all jobs. Growing up knowing that you can succeed in what you enjoy doing not just what your specific gender is suppose to do leads to less depression and higher self-esteem.

Girls, in particularly, who have a father who is involved with activities and school work are said to become more interested in math and science, leading to better grades and achievements within the areas of study. In the article, “Gender Roles in Marriage: What do they mean for girls’ and boys’ school achievements” they discuss how growing up within traditional feminine roles drastically affect young girls performances in math and science, were as girls who have a more masculine social roll may achieve higher scores and be more interested in the subjects. This more masculine roll in young girls comes from the idea that their father was around in day to day activities to instill those masculine qualities, and that they were encouraged to achieve results in more masculine studies, such as math and science, and not only typical female gender studies.

As a young girl I grew up around a mother who provided income by working full time, was involved in activities and school work, and could change the oil on her own car if needed. As I aged through adolescents it left me open to the fact that I didn’t need to find a boyfriend because I would need them to provide and support me someday. I was able to choose someone that I wanted in my life for happiness, unlike a lot of my friends who were desperate for boyfriends because they were reinforced with the idea that you need a husband to take care of you, or else you have failed. This leads to depression and low self-esteem to young women, and can easily be fixed by having a strong role model as mother and a father who has a bigger role at home.

In the article, “Gender Role Socialization and Adolescents’ Reports of Depression: Why some girls and not others?” they analyzed the depression symptoms of girls, and analyzed the gender role of their parents. They wanted to explore the idea that the push for young girls to act in less masculine ways and take on a more traditional feminine gender role may be linked to negative mental health experiences. “Parents’ marital roles may be an important factor in adolescents’ gender identity socialization because mothers and fathers interaction and their division of family activities provide adolescent girls a script for acceptable gendered behavior” (Obeidallah 777) The conclusion of the study showed that girls who have more masculine qualities have less depressive behaviors. Some ideas of why this happens is because mothers who have a more powerful roll in a relationship show the daughter how important self efficiency is, which lack of, is associated with depression symptoms.

In Michael Kimmel’s, “Bro’s Before Hoes” he explains how boys are pressured from their dad to be tough; for instance, they can’t cry or show emotion. This causes them to, “turn to anger and violence because these, they believe, perhaps rightly, are the only acceptable forms of emotional expression” (Kimmel 616). This is obviously not a healthy way for your young boy to grow up. If you have a strong mother role and a father who accepts that boys can break the gender role barriers you may help prevent these kinds of feelings within your children. Equalitarian parents and androgynous gender role orientation will foster the attitude that emotion is acceptable and necessary in some situations. This may also lead to stronger and healthier relationships for your child in the future.

Some equalitarian couples believe that providing an androgynous gender orientation is the best way to raise a child. Children learn to adopt gender roles that are not always fair to both sexes, they learn at a very young age what is meant to be a boy or girl in society. A child’s sense of self is formed by the attitudes and behaviors they are exposed to; therefore, parents shouldn’t expect all boys or all girls to like the same things. It’s very important that you let your children explore who they are and what they like without telling them that they are suppose to enjoy based on their sex. Some ideas are; letting them play with whatever type of toy they are drawn to, making sure they have friends of both sexes, make positive statements about both gender, and help them understand the messages they see from the media. Parents who have an equalitarian attitude regarding gender roles are more likely to foster that attitude in their children. Androgynous individuals have been found to have higher self esteem and higher levels of identity achievements.

Sincerely,

Amber Poulliot, Cabrillo College

Proposal Paper #2

Title: Parental Influences on Gender Roles

Audience: Expecting Parents
Topic: The impact of parental role influences on developing children and why an androgynous gender role orientation may be better for children to grow up with then traditional family gender roles.

Exigence: Our society is full of gender biases and stereotypes which start at childhood and are learned from parents.
Purpose: The purpose is to show parents the benefits of their children growing up in equalitarian families and/or androgynous gender role orientations.
Claim: Young girls who grow up in equalitarian families or androgynous gender role orientations that do not adhere to traditional gender roles have higher self-esteem, stronger achievements in math and science, will have more flexibility in dating and love relationships, and have less signs of depression. If we can eliminate gender stereotypes and biases at a young age it may help develop a stronger sense of self in children and discourage the negative effects of gender stereotypes that they will run into in their future.

Quotes/Research:

According to Purdue University’s Tips for Healthy Gender Development, “Giving boys and girls the chance to watch women and men do different jobs” will help promote healthy gender role development. In equalitarian family kids will see their mother and father both go to work, clean the house, and help them with school work. This gives them the opportunity to see that either gender is capable of all jobs.

Parents shouldn’t expect all boys or all girls to like the same things, its very important that you let your children explore who they are and what they like without telling them or giving them toys that they are suppose to enjoy based on their gender. Parents who have an equalitarian attitude regarding gender roles are more likely to foster that attitude in their children. Androgynous individuals have been found to have higher self esteem and higher levels of identity achievements (Orlofsky 570).

In the article, “Gender Roles in Marriage: What do they mean for girls’ and boys’ school achievements” they discuss how growing up within traditional feminine drastically affect young girls performances in math and science, were as girls who have a more masculine social roll may achieve higher scores and be more interested in math and science. This more masculine roll in young girls comes from the idea that their father was around in day to day activities to instill those masculine qualities, and that they were encouraged to achieve results in more masculine studies (such as math and science) not only typically female gender studies.

Annotated Bibliography

Updegraff, Kimberly A., Susan M. Mchale, and Ann C. Crouter. “Gender Roles in Marriage: What do they mean for girls’ and boys’ school achievements.” Journal of Youth and Adolescence 25.1 (1996): 73-88. SpringerLink. Web. 9 Nov. 2012.

This article was published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence in 1996, and was written about a study to compare school achievements of children in traditional and equalitarian families. Traditional families meant that most of the socialization and activities are only with the mother, in an equalitarian family the mother and father participated equally in activities with the children. The study showed that in early adolescents that the families’ socialization process directly effects their child’s academic achievements, and that there are differences for boys and girls. If girls only focus on traditional feminine roles it can drastically affect their performances in math and science, were as girls who have a more masculine social roll may achieve higher scores and be more interested in math and science. This more masculine roll in young girls comes from the idea that their father was around in day to day activities to instill those masculine qualities.

Obeidallah, Dawn A., Susan M. Mchale, and Rainer K. Silbereisen. “Gender Role Socialization and Adolescents’ Reports of Depression: Why some girls and not others?.” Journal of Youth and Adolescence 25.6 (1996): 775-85. SpingerLink. Web. 5 Nov. 2012.

This article was published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence in 1996, and was written about a study to compare the depression levels of girls growing up in traditional and equalitarian families. The article was written in a scientific matter and explains the outcome of tests they conducted on 87 7^th and 8^th grade girls. They analyzed the depression symptoms of girls, and analyzed the gender role of their parents. They wanted to explore the idea that the push for young girls to act in less masculine ways and take on a more traditional feminine gender role may be linked to negative mental health experiences. “Parents’ marital roles may be an important factor in adolescents’ gender identity socialization because mothers and fathers interaction and their division of family activities provide adolescent girls a script for acceptable gendered behavior” (777) The conclusion of that studies showed that girls who have more masculine qualities have less depressive behaviors. Some ideas of why this happens is because mothers who have a more powerful roll in a relationship show the daughter how important self efficiency is, which lack of, is associated with depression symptoms.

RA "Bros before Hos": The Guy Code

            In the selection of reading “Bros before Hos: The Guy Code”, by Michael Kimmel he writes about the standards and ideals young men must live up to, to be accepted in today’s society. The article was part of a book he wrote in 2008, written about men ages sixteen to twenty six and directed towards anyone interested in gender and how it relates to masculinity and men. According to Kimmel young men most live and abide by a set of rules called the “guy code”, which has been instilled into them by family, peers, and the media from a very young age. The purpose is to relate this code to why young men act and feel the way they do, and how masculinity is perceived in culture.

            Kimmel first uses exemplification to explain what the guy code is all about. The guy code is a “collection of attitudes, values, and traits that together compose what it means to be a man.” (609) The code consist of traits such as; men don’t cry, men aren’t aloud to be sissies, men must be strong, masculinity is achieved by gaining wealth and power, men don’t connect to their body, they must take risks. He uses example of young men who coaches, dads, brothers, and friends have ridiculed them for showing any kind of emotion other then angry.

            In the next section of the text, “The Gender Police”, Kimmel explains how throughout adolescents boys are pressured to act a certain way due to fear of ridicule and humiliation by peers. As a guy if you step outside these rules you are opening yourself up to be called words such as gay and homo, which he believes for a young man is the ultimate put down of their masculinity; therefore, self. “Everything that is perceived as gay goes into what we might call the Negative Playbook of Guyland.” (613) Men need to avoid everything in it to keep their manhood.

Towards the end of the article he uses cause and effect, which discusses the effect that the boy code has on men as they mature. The boy code is no different then the guy code, it just starts at a younger age and teaches men to grow distant from their mothers, in order to grow up to be a man. It causes them to grow up thinking that showing emotion is never ok, which in the long term makes it complicated to grow healthy relationships with others in life. “The boy code leaves boys disconnected from a wide range of emotions, and prohibited from sharing those feelings with others.” (616) They grow uses violence instead of words, which leads them to depression, and emotion issues.

I believe that to a large extent the “guy code” is a very real and social challenge in guy’s lives. I think Kimmel has hit the nail on the head to why many men act in a macho and emotionless matter. I find it very unfortunate that even in a society where race, sexual preference, and women’s right are accepted and normal this internal gender issue still exists. I have been friends with, and dated many men who have these traits and some who defy them. I find that as Kimmel says, when men are with other men they have this need to prove their masculinity; however, in more personal situation I have luckily been able to witness that it does not cause all men to close up and become an emotionless and angry driven person. 

RA "Death Of Macho"

In the selection of text “Death of Macho”, Reihan Salam writes about the change of power in the United States shifting from men to women, and how the recent economic collapse was partially do to the  “macho” finance capitalism. The article was written in 2008 and was written towards conservatives who are interested in the state of our country. He believes men have been hit the hardest during the recession and this will cause problems for their ego. Salam says men are “even less well-equipped to deal with the profound and long-term psychic costs of job loss” (630). Salam seems to have an angry attitude towards the macho financial men who are in control, and believes men will only stand in the way to delay the historical trend of equal power among both genders.  He claims that the loss of jobs, and power of finances being turning over to women, will cause the “death of macho” and men will have to make the choice to fight or accept these facts which can cause drastic effects on humanity.

Salam uses the term “he-cession” to refer to the disproportionate impact the current crisis has had on men. A much larger amount of job loss in the United States has happen to men then women and the trend continues. This is due to the fact that men have been in control of the economic crisis and their “aggressive, risk-taking behavior, that has enabled men to entrench their power” (631) has gotten them there. There are many past examples of government polices that men have created that have only benefited their own gender; such as, the housing bubble that created less-skilled jobs at a higher pay for millions of men, and the New Deal which only forced on job creations for men. Salam says that since macho has “run a mock” and “is now giving way to macho unemployed” (632). Men tend to have a lot of issue when their power; such as, job loss and not being the bread winner at home, has been lost, lending them to heavy drinking, loneliness, and loss of wanting to commit to marriage. In turn these issues will be felt within humanity.

After discussing what the effect of solely men being in power has created, Salam further talks about the outcomes, and that there are only two choices men will have to make. The first is adaptation: men will need to embrace women as equal partners. The second resistance, meaning they will decide to not accept the death of macho. The second choice would cause a series of unnecessary yet devastating events. He also believes that North America would have a much easier time adapting then countries such as Asia or Russia, were women traditional have always had significantly less power.
            I think when you look at how large of a difference there is within gender from 50 years ago to now, its only observant to think that within another 10-20 years women will have just as much power in the financial and political world as men. Women are no longer just housewives, they don’t keep their mouths shut about politics and they already out rake the number of men who are currently earning bachelor degrees. I agree with Salam that men need to accept women as equal partners, and if they can’t the transition could be very unsettling in countries and parts of our state that are just not ready to accept the facts, but like all change, its never easy for large groups of people to all agree at the same time. Similar to race it took years, even decades for the acceptance and this is just another step in right direction of humanity.